Friday, February 27, 2009

Fatherhood Friday - Who are you?

Welcome to another installment of Fatherhood Friday!

Today I'm going to tackle the ever-untalked-about-topic: Other Hotties 

(Forgive me, I'll probably write "her" a lot, but know that I am aware and sensitive to the dad/dad combos out there... so if you're a dad/dad then just read the "her" as "him". Oh I guess if you're a female reader then replace the "her" with "him too. Unless you're a mom/mom combo then keep the "her"... jesus... did I cover my ass enough?)

You know what I'm talking about, dads. The good looking moms (or dads) that adorn you with those eyes of safety because you are running around with a child. Or those just turned 18 year olds that seem to stay the same age while you get older.

How many times have you had the internal monologue with yourself: "Yeah, I'd do her"

Now I'm not saying you should proclaim this to your wife at every possible moment because that does have the potential of wearing away at her self confidence, but I am firmly convinced that letting your wife know that you still know what "beauty" is, I believe, lets her know that when you say she is beautiful... you aren't lying.

Have your Top 5
(switch hit top 5 optional)
What is the Top 5? This is a list of 5 people of the opposite sex that if they showed up at your front door, said "Hi. I want to go on a date with you, and I expected you to have sex with me at the end of the night." then you have a free-pass. A free pass meaning that your wife has to be "ok" with it, and a free pass meaning that you would never leave your wife over it. 

Rules of the Top 5:
  • This list must be ranked in order of how long you would ponder/rationalize whether or not you would actually do it, with the top one being the least amount of time.
  • It absolutely CANNOT be anyone that you know personally. No ex-girlfriends, no girl down the streets, no one easily accessible.
  • There can be only 5
  • The person who comes to the door must be on the list for at least a month.
  • They have to be alive and must be recognized in their current state. (No "Marilyn Monroe" or "1980's version Madonna")
  • Your significant other must be aware of the list at all times.

My Top 5:
  1. Natalie Portman
  2. Lisa Sheldon (Roxy Model)
  3. Chyler Leigh
  4. Tyra Banks (the now, thicker version)
  5. Gwen Stefani

But even with the top 5...
I told my wife one night, "You know... you're the only person in this world that I would never have second thoughts about banging. I would never have to justify myself to myself that it is ok. Because it's always ok and always awesome."

So at first read I bet that looks like I was going to get pimp-smacked. 

But she took it as a compliment. Because even if Natalie Portman came knocking on my door, at the end of the night it would still take some time for me to have to rationalize in my head that what I was doing was ok. 

... even if it only would take 3 seconds. 

15 comments:

Daddy Files said...

1. Eliza Dushku
2. Jenna Fischer (Pam from The Office)
3. Tina Fey
4. Selma Hayek
5. Taylor Swift

It's Daddies. Plural. said...

This cracks me up... We two had our top 5 until I blew it. Ricky Martin was on my list (this was going back to the late 90's).

We went to Spain one summer and the MINUTE we walked into the door of the hotel, I went to the night stand and pulled out the phone book. Chris asked me what I was doing and I told him I was looking for any Ricky, Ricardo, Richard Martin I could find because I had a free pass. One of them had to be gay... or curious.

That was the moment the top 5 list got eliminiated :)

WeaselMomma said...

I'm trying to figure out how I feel about not making your top 5. =)

ShankRabbit said...

@DaddyFiles
You know, Tina Fey is a close 6th on my list. There is just something about her... probably cause she's funny, cute, and seemingly down to earth.

@It's Daddies. Plural.
Cheeeeeeaaaatttteeerrrr. You can't seek them out. Lol. (though I can't blame you... In the 90s Ricky would have been on my cross over list)

@WeaselMomma
You would totally be on the list, but it would be breaking one of the rules. You would be the "girl down the street". (But you are on the "I'm not allowed to have this list" list. :D

Joeprah said...

"There can only be five." LOL!

I have no such list, but if I had to make one I would have to put my hot wife first. It goes like this:

1. My wife
2. Megan Fox
3. Jessica Alba
4. Natalie Portman
5. Jenna Fischer

New-Dad-Blog said...

My wife and were watching Grey's Anatomy the other night and when Dr. Sloan (aka McSteamy) was on my mouth opened up and the following words just came out "Damn, that is one good looking man"

So now in order to regain some of my hetero-manhood back I present my top 5:

1.Jenna Fisher (Pam from the Office)
2. Ginnfer Goodwin (Margene from the office)
3. Tina Fey (I have a thing for quarky chicks with glasses)
4.Megyn Price (Aubrey from Rules of Engagement)
5. Jennifer Westfelt (Notes from the Underbelly, pregnant chick with anuersym on Grey's 3 part special)

Now I'm going to go watch some porn, eat a chili dog and drink a beer!

ciara said...

it's always funny to see what people guys would put 'i'd do her list' lol

i'd have to think long and hard (no pun intended) about my list.

Otter Thomas said...

Good for all you guys if you can have these open lists. It is a good idea and I plan on discussing my list with myself.

Bella Daddy said...

LMAO! What a fun as hell drop to your knees kinda post...I believe we ALL have those lists...although, some tend to have more than 5...ok ok, WE ALL DO THAT TOO :-)

BTW, us Homo's have two lists...one for dudes,the other for women, if we werent gay ;-)

Thanhks for the smiles!

ShankRabbit said...

@Bella Daddy
Oh... don't get me wrong I have my cross-over list too! Don't think for a minute that us "straighties" aren't allowed to play for the other team. Lol.

1. Ben Folds
2. Johnny Depp
3. Clinton Kelly (bonus - he is gay!)
4. Eric Dane
5. Adam Pascal

Steven (Green Dads) said...

1. Colin Farrell
2. Jake Gyllenhaal
3. Taye Diggs
4. The Rock
5. Chris Daughtry

Sorry Bella Daddy, I'm only thinking of one woman.
1. Halle Berry
More time and I'll think of others.
That was fun :)

KWG said...

This is a dangerous game.

How about my wife and Selma Hayek while Ben Folds played "Jesusland".

That's all I got. Keeps me safe and sane.

Isabella said...

I never wanted to write down my "top 5" list so if there ever was a hot celebrity offering himself to me, I could say "oh...don't you remember, he's on my top 5." :)

But, I'll play along -

1. Gary Dourdan (Warrick on CSI)
2. Sendhil Ramamurthy (Mohinder from Heroes)
3. Anthony Kiedis
4. Harrison Ford
5. Adam Pascal

Apok said...

1. Jenna Fischer
2. Natalie Portman
3. Anna Farris
4. Sarah Silverman
5. Mila Kunis

We like to play island - one for each day of the week. You get an extra two, which is nice.

peteej said...

How you guys can generate a top 5 list is amazing. I guess I'm just a dirty whore. But I have to say, Salma Hayek is a freakin' hottie.

@Steven: The Rock? Now Johnny Depp, yeah, but the Rock? :D