I've been thinking about fear lately and what makes people afraid.
"Why were you thinking about that?"
There have been a few things going on in my life lately that have made me sit and ponder this "fear" topic.
First, I've been trying to get more involved with the company my father works for. He works for a company that offers help, aid, care, and housing to people who are developmentally challenged. This ranges from group meetings all the way to 24 hour care. This brought my mind to fear because I think about the general demeanor of most people when they are near people who are developmentally challenged... they're scared pissless. They don't know how to act, where to look, what to say.
The other event that happened was actually yesterday. I got a call from my beautiful (and pregnant) sister-in-law (break: why the hell is the "-in-law" always hyphenated? waste.of.time.)... and she sheepishly tells me that my eldest brother is in the hospital awaiting surgery. Now the word "sheepishly" carries a lot of weight here because if you knew my sister-in-law, "sheepish" would be the last thing you would think. She is the most badass, free thinking, independent little ball of 5'2" you've ever met. So to have her sheepishly talking to me meant that she was very affected by this.
I was too. Upon seeing my brother laying in the bed at the hospital, I knew he had his "strong mask" on. The look that says, "Hey, guys, this is just another day. 30 minutes. In and out. I'll be fine!". But I have this connection with my brother and deep down I knew there was a little fear. Fear of anesthesia. Fear of surgery.
"Good Examples. What's your point?"
I came to the conclusion today that fear is genuinely caused by the unknown and by the things we don't understand. Take into consideration the general populous' fear of people with developmental disabilities. I'm comfortable in their presence (and I hope I in theirs), but that's because it's a part of my family's life. The average bear (no, not Homer to Wayland kind of bear) doesn't have much interaction in those situations so it's naturally scary.
Or take for instance a person who unfortunately has to be put under the knife more then once or twice in their life. They're probably a lot more laid back about anesthesia and going under then what my brother was.
I want to be fearless
I don't want Niamonster to fear many things. I want her to be alright with the unknown and then go out and learn about it, and become familiar with it. I'm not saying I want her to injure herself so that she can go to the hospital a lot, but I want her to know what things are so that she has little reason to be scared of them.
I think about a few times that I was scared but after learning about it lost that fear. (Hrm... should we go ordered or unordered today....) UNORDERED!
- The night Niamonster was born, as much as the classes try to get you ready, the big day is still scary. However, after about 20 minutes of spending time with the nurse my fear was down to simple excitement. She walked us through every little step as it would happen or was happening. There was never a doubt in our mind about what was going on.
- When I was 18 I had my tonsils taken out. It was the first time that I was going to be put under. When they wheeled me into the surgical suite, I was really scared... especially about not having control of my body. But the anesthesiologist came over, told exactly what was going to happen and even said, "The cocktail I'm going to give you will make you not puke when you wake up. That's a good thing. However, it's going to hurt like hell when it goes in. But by the time you care enough to say anything, you'll be out." He didn't lie.
(god i love lists)
Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn.
It is my goal to never turn away a question Niamonster has. I want to answer them all... even if she's just asking them to be annoying. If I can't answer them then we'll go to someone or somewhere that we can. I believe that the more she knows and understands, the less she'll have any chance to be scared.