Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Wacky Wednesday 5

The funny thing about drinking is that I can't do it so well anymore. Gone are the days of starting your night at midnight, drinking heavily until 2, then going to an after party and drinking till 5, then going home and crashing through the morning classes until waking up at noon.

Since becoming a dad, I've noticed that the night ENDS at midnight and that there is the constant looming thought of, "If Niamonster wakes up at her normal time, I'm screwed"

See... kids don't give a crap about your hangover. They don't care that every loud noise makes you want to swiftly jam a 3 pronged fork into each ear. Maybe the blood will act like earplugs. They don't care that your bowels are in overdrive and at any minute you may need to release the drunken goodness of the night before. (Yeah, it's gross, but we've all been there.) Especially if the meal that was had with the boozin' was Mexican.... which is funny because Mexican food always sounds way better then any other kind when there is alcohol in the mix.

So as a dad I drink less, I go out less often, and I can't remember the last time I was drunk. 

Kids - the new AA.

Dreams can be funny. Isabella just had a dream that she was making out with me, and then 2 minutes later it wasn't me and someone saw her making out with some random dude who was ugly. Then that someone told everyone and no one wanted to be her friend anymore. She woke up perturbed. 

I said, "Hunny, close your eyes." She did, and I kissed her. Then I said, "Open them... See? Still me!"

Silly dreams. 

Swinger dreams seem to be the latest dream craze for a lot of my friends. Not sure how to take that. 

A group of friends from work usually do trivia at a bar on Tuesday nights. Yesterday also happened to be St. Patty's day. We try to make up silly team names for ourselves each time we go. Yesterday we decided to hop in the wayback machine and mix with some Irish fun. 

Our team name? "Ireland is great... for me to poop on!"

Oh yeah. We are the shining example of maturity.

You can't help but laugh at the fact that now that I'm a parent, all of the stuff I do, all the things I say and the thoughts I have... my parents had the same ones when I was a child. 

Weird that as a kid, your parents are the shining examples. Now, you realize that they were just as lost and confused as you are now. 


Sorry this is late. I like to get posts out at 8am... but I was obviously out last night and didn't prepare one. 

This is me, accepting the slap on my wrist.


Otter Thomas said...

Kids are the new AA. Totally agreed. Ireland is great...for me to poop on. I laughed out loud so I am obviously just as mature.

Jason said...

man, I can't drink for shit anymore. I remember tossing back mind erasers like they were nothing, the last time I even attempted it I threw up and wet the bed...