Friday, May 22, 2009

Fatherhood Friday - Parents are helpless.

Happy Fatherhood Friday all my fellow dads and mom. Let us raise our hands in the air and let the world smell our pits because we all know we shower less now that we have kids. 

What's that? You don't know what Fatherhood Friday is all about? Then head your butt over to Dad-Blogs and check it out. (Girls are allowed in this fort.)

You. As a Parent. Are helpless. 

And I think it's why we panic so much about our children. Apparently panic is an appropriate replacement for not being able to control our little beings. Try as we might to be the "cool and laid back" parents that you see in the movies, every little step in the wrong direction, or bonk on the heads leaves our little hearts to go, "OHAGHNODON'TGETHURT!".

It's the heart strings that are fused to that little miniature flesh-bag. No matter what goes on in life you never want them to feel pain, never want them to struggle, never want them to fail. But of course the only way to learn and get better at something IS by failing. 

Some people take it way too far.

You know those people - the "build a fence around my kid" kind of parents. They're usually really judgemental too. Niamonster was toddling around Target the other day. She slipped and landed on her butt, let out a little cry of frustration, and got back up. I looked up and saw a lady glaring at me like, "how could you let your child fall?".

Really lady? Really? Pecker off.

I can only imagine it gets worse.

Niamonster is only 1 right now so what do I have to worry about? Her falling on her butt... bonking the enormously large bobbly head into things... falling down stairs... etc.

But what about when she's a teenager? Creepy guys on the internet? Creepy guys on the streets? Stupid boyfriends trying to smooze her pants off? Broken hearts? Good grades? Personal image?

Oiy... I'm worried about how much I'm going to worry.

How do I relax?

Well... my faith helps. Raising her to make smart decisions will help. I want to be able to trust her 100% as she grows up. That's easier said then done because I'm not going to be with her all the time as she gets older. Where do I draw the line between trust and smart parenting? Can you full trust a 14 year old?

For now... she can bump.

I'll let her fall. I'll let her bump her fat little melon. When she gets older will I still allow her to get bumps and bruises so she can grow and learn? 

Is it just me or is parenthood just filled with hypothetical questions that can't be answered until the situation happens?

(jesus being a parent is so damn fun)


Rob said...

It is hard to let kids get hurt and explore and find things out for themselves but in the long run it is beneficial for the child and parent. I have a 13 yr old so I know what you mean about worring about guys and stuff cause even thought my daughter does not date I am dreading the day she does.

Jason said...

Just wait, you'll be even less concerned when the second one falls on their ass. You worry like crazy over the first one and then the second one comes along and you're like oh, he fell down the stairs again... But yet, you still worry about the first one because they're still experiencing things that are new to you. That's the kicker, once you know how to handle it you worry less, it's the not knowing that causes worry.

Bella Daddy said...

Damn, I can relate...we got flack for allowing our kid to LOVE the movie "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"...even added a disclaimer to our blog recently, because of it...SIGH!

Thanks for getting "it" out there...people need to chill!

KWG said...

Man, Bea fell off the couch last night right on her head. She started wailing, then I'm like "Oh my God", and then Mama started wailing, and we had a big group hug and ate dinner.

The end.

Melisa with one S said...

No, you cannot full trust a 14 year old. (My boys are 14 and 16) Fortunately, I feel like I can 98% trust both of them (they have both "fibbed" about things on occasion so we always have that 2% of wondering...). The good news is, we feel 100% certain that we couldn't have parented them any better to this point than we have, and they certainly have a good foundation, really knowing what's right and wrong. As parents, that's really all we can do unless we plan to have our kids attached to us for life, which I *definitely* don't. :)

And people should SHUT UP. Seriously! Kids fall! It's part of life! Ugh.

-Justin said...

Whew! Teenage years are the worst in the worry department. At least you have the opportunity now to build the foundation. Live the life now that you want for our daughter, and she'll turn out just fine.

ciara said...

someone had a similar post to yours, but you've got it w the let her bonk her head biz right. i can't even remember what i commented on that other post now. i guess the gist is we are going to hate when they get hurt in any shape or form, but sometimes you have to let it happen. if you raise them right, they will be able to handle all the bumps and bruises along the way.

anyways, i had some tips for dealing w daughters on my blog.

Eternal Lizdom said...

It is so important to let them fall, let them make mistakes, let them make messes... otherwise they never learn how to recover, how to make amends, how to clean up...

WeaselMomma said...

I for one, am an expert at failure.

HeirApparent said...

As others have said, you gotta let 'em fall or they'll be afraid to do anything. Our 11 month-old is fearless and has had her share of spills but at the moment she'll try anything because she isn't scared of much. Except for the vacuum. She hates that thing.