Wacky Wednesday - Healthy Living (cough cough)

I'm done.

I'm done with being sick more then I should be. I can't decide if it's the child or if it's the job or if it's the fact that I had pneumonia once. I try eating healthy and exercises and I still get sick WAY more then I used to.

It's annoying and it's ALWAYS respiratory.

Bastard little green phlegmballs.

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Isabella and I started a financial planning class tonight. 13 weeks of instruction to get our asses in gear for making sure Niamonster (and perhaps some future children) are set when growing up.

Believe me, we'll instill in them the virtues of making a living for themselves, but I also don't think you can expect a teenager to be able to pay thousands of dollars for college when they can't even keep money in their checking account.

I'm sure you'll hear more about this in the future with both of our blogs.

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I asked my wife last night if I needed tickets to the gun show. She was trying to flex for me. It'd be even funnier for you if you knew how scrawny she was.

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Finally -

Interesting stuff going on in Teh... uh... you know that one place that just had elections. (Don't want some crazy ass coming over to my blog and censoring me... or.. whatever they're doing.)

I guess I never really understood riots and destroying things to make a point. I mean... you're not really making much of a point at all.

What goes through your head?

"This election was rigged! Quick! Everyone throw bricks through the windows of local stores!"

Cause... that's going to accomplish a lot. Irony sure would set in if the store owner was two blocks down throwing bricks into someone else's window.

I'd hate to be a police-person in that state. Get up in the morning knowing you're going to have to get crap thrown at you all day. I mean - I don't agree with what's going on over there at all, but you have to be somewhat sympathetic to the police officers. Could you imagine waking up in the morning knowing full well that you were probably going to get rocks and bricks thrown at you while people try to rip you off your bike so they can burn it. Just because your jacket says "Police".

I don't think violence is the answer, but if someone threw a brick at me, you bet your ass I'd crack them in the head with a billy club.

Just sayin'...

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Hope your Wednesday is full of happy, billy club-free moments!

Wackey Wedhursday - What?

Happy Wedhursday

Why? Why Wedhursday? Because I started writing this post yesterday and am finishing it today... that's why. So to my online posting persona I am actually transcending the space time continuum and spanning my existence over a time frame which includes both Wednesday and Thursday. 

And you thought you were just reading a weirdo's blog. 

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Straight up now tell me do you really wanna love me forever (oh oh oh)

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Now that you have that song stuck in your head... Let's continue and talk about something gross. 

Girl

Nope. Not my daughter. Not some random female. But... that. Call it whatever you want... Aunt Flo, Periodicals, Girl... all the same thing. Well, with the onslaught of Niamonster, Isabella hasn't had to deal with it in the first person, and I haven't had to deal with it in the third person in a very long time. 

Isabella got preggo sometime in July of 07. From July of 07 until March of 09 we really hadn't had to deal with it. 

Well... she's back. Can't say I really missed her. 

Though, for all you guys out there... dealing with the hormonal crazies from pregnancy gives a whole new "gentler" light on the girly-crazies. They just don't seem so crazy anymore. 

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New Domain!

Being the dork that I am, I have an entire business class network setup in our house. Domain controllers, DNS servers, routers, switches, etc. You'd think I ran a small business out of my home or something.

Well, with the glorious purchase of 2 new dual 2.6ghz Xeon servers I decided it was time to re-setup the domain since I kinda botched the first one. (Single name domains aren't very friendly)

So I stayed up till 2am last night switching things over from my old server to the new ones, and by the time I went to bed I had gotten rid of the B**** domain (starred cause it's my last name... and let's be honest you know I don't write real names here) and started up the tarkus.shankrabbit.com domain. Tarkus meaning "wisdom" in Estonian. 

Why Estonian?

Because I'm weird, that's why.

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My daughter has taken a liking to dirt. Isabella already wrote about it so you should head over there and read up somes. 

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This weekend can't come soon enough. I'm bushed. 

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Finally, I know I haven't mentioned it much - but Busy-Dad-E, I should be finishing up the song this weekend. You know... the song you won... so long ago. 

I haven't forgotten. 

I never do. 

Wacky Wednesday (Insert Number Here) - Babies, Phones, and Poopy Butts

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood... won't you be mine?

Chicken In Pants.

Think that's actually a title to something I'm going write here? You're wrong. Simply... Chickenpants.

Guess who had their baby!

BabyK is officially here and healthy. After around 36 hours of labory stuff that women do when having babies, our bestest friends are now our bestest family. Born yesterday at 10:30ish PM, 7lbs 4oz, 22in long. Isabella and I are headed over there to lay eyes on their beautiful daughter. 

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Poopy Butts

My daughter loves to potty on the toilet. Yes, we realize she's only one, but she derives such enjoyment from sitting on the big people's potty and dropper her load off in there as opposed to her diaper. Because seriously, who would want to walk around with pants full of poopies? 

Not me. 

So the first thing you have to think about is the awkwardness that comes from encouraging your child while she's taking a deuce. Isabella and I are very open about our human bodies, but one thing we have always taken as "personal time" is pooping. Doors closed, no one is allowed in, don't talk to me until I'm out. Being in the bathroom when someone is pooping is weird... even in public settings. 

However, this paradigm hits a wall when it comes to Niamonster because I'm not just going to leave her sit there by herself. She'd fall in and probably start playing around. (gross). While we're holding her there, Isabella and I usually look around elsewhere to give Niamonster some sort of privacy while she does her deed. 

Still pretty awkward though. 

The setup is usually that Isabella is the holder while I walk in and out offering words of encouragement. The other day I was tasked to do the holding and realized that I had never done it before. This all hit me like a truck when it was time to wipe her little booty while sitting in front of her. 

Hrm. How does one do this without getting poop everywhere?

I'm not sure how "one" would do it... or how I would do it for that matter - because I got poop everywhere. 

I'm such a nard.

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New Phone!

Isabella and I have been with Verizon for... um... 6?5?7? ... well a long time. Anyway, they always call when our contract is up to encourage us to get new phones. So... with the current deals circulating around we decided to finally bite and ditch our old flippy small screened phones for the newest, hottest, and not Apple owned smart phone. (I'll write someday about my aversion to Apple products. If their products were at least half as good as their fanboys proclaim them as, I'd be all over them.)

BAM! The new BlackBerry 9530 - also known as the Storm.

Now, one thing I have learned is that Verizon is very... hrm... "selective" about what operating system they will support on their phones. For that reason, if you do get a BlackBerry from Verizon you'll be running an OS that is about 4 releases old. 

The OS that our Storms came with was painfully slow. (Which you'll read all about if you've ever read a review on this phone.) That's ridiculous, I told myself, that I should run an older OS when there are much faster and better OSes out there. 

Thank God for CrackBerry.com

Both Isabella and I are running BETA/Hybrid versions of the OS and the difference is night and day. The phone itself is really powerful, why not have a decently designed OS to go with it?

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Tough to work when you just want to be home.

Wacky Wednesday... uh... 12? - Socially crazy

From my Monday post I'm sure you all know the story behind selling my 2005 MINI Cooper S. 

Well, seeing as how this is "Wacky Wednesday", let's talk about how wacky my brother has gotten about it. 

First, I should give you the background that he is a big Marketing dork. It has always been a running joke about him being in marketing. 

You see... I'm a developer. I write the code, architect the application, design the flows, the UIs, the "sexy bits". I create the product that makes the money. Developers generally have a distain for Marketing folk because they swoop in like vultures, take your product and slut it out to the world using phrases like, "We did this... " or "We created that..."... almost as if they were any part of the sometimes months-long process to create kick ass applications. It's prentious. You didn't do shit.

Unfortunately, they're a necessity since most developers, myself included, aren't the most "socially apt" people around. So... (sigh) I guess without them the product wouldn't get sold... as much.

I mean no offence to people in marketing... I have nothing against you - we do need you... it's... it's... aw nevermind.

Anyway (wow I totally busted off on a rant there... sorry), so - my brother has been looking for an outlet to do some social networking experimentation and he was enlightened by me selling Claire. He wanted to take selling Claire under his wing as an experiment to see what kind of craze he could create (if any at all).

He wanted something kitchy and viral. So he decided on the "man loses last shred of bachelorhood... blah blah blah" and created the theme "MINI Cooper vs Mini Van". Odd you think? Somewhat... I agree. Seeing as how it's all crap - because selling the MINI was my decision.

What, you might ask, has this crazy brother done?

• Facebook Group
• MINI vs Van Blog
• Twitter Account
• His own blog

I'm tempted to almost call this "too much". But he's running the experiment... I'm just a pawn. Then again... as of right now 389 Twitter followers aren't lying about the potential "viruality" of this.

So... want to take part in the "joke"/"experiment"? Join up on those groups/blogs/twitters and make yourself known. 

I do just want to say that most of you, since following me, have gotten a good sense of what I'm about - I do hope you notice that a lot of this is quite farcical. 

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My wife glues her fingers together on a regular basis. I'm starting to get concerned.

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Finally - Cuteness overload. My daughter and her first time with sand.

Wacky Wednesday 11 - My Ears a Clogged

A hip-happy Wednesday to all and a warm welcome to the new readers this week. (I see you there... sneaking in there like ninjas... don't think I can't see you).

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My world is currently very hazy. I'm not sure if it's part of the healing process from me being sick, but it feels like my head in under water right now with the way I am hearing different sounds. Like someone blew little water bubbles into my ears and now everything is muddled. 

I hate it. I rely on sound a lot in my life and am especially peckered that my music sounds like it's coming out of to tin cans. Ugh.

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I feel sort of bad for my brother, poor kid hasn't been getting very much sleep lately. He and I like to have chats on IM during the day that are filled with banter and witty comebacks. All things are said in fun and we usually try to continually one up each other with funny phrases or jesting quips. I mean... what are big brothers for?

Well, lately because of his lack of sleep I've just been beating him up. I'm almost starting to feel bad about it. There have been multiple occasions where he's just stopped his sentence and wrote, "... wait... ugh... I just can't think straight. This lack of sleep is really effecting me."

Any sleep remedies anyone has that I can offer him so that he gets back to his old self and so that I don't have to feel so bad for DOMINATING! (booo yah!)

No, seriously though... does anyone?

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Finally... remember the ShamWow guy? Oh yeah, check this out.

Wacky Wednesday 10

I'm all out of sorts today. Niamonster has been fighting a little cough and some snotties and a little fever, and just as she starts going on the upswing... you guessed it... daddy starts going on the down swing. 

Awesome. Not like I have to go to work or anything.

But who cares about illness - let's get wacky anyway.

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My wonderful wife IMs me today at work with "The garbage men didn't take our garbage." On a normal Tuesday I think I'd normally be ok with it, but this was a Tuesday after hosting a decent sized party. That meant we had more garbage then your average bear. 

As you can assume at a party that is hosted outdoors, people will throw their garbage items away in the nearest garbage receptacle. If they were in the garage, I had placed a garbage can in there. If they were outside on the deck, then our big honkin' garbage can was there. 

It's a garbage can, right?

OH OF COURSE NOT!

Not according to the completely screwed up Milwaukee county. That's not a garbage can... it's a refuse container that is suppose to contain refuse in bags. You know what else it is not supposed to contain? 

Cans. Two of them to be exact because I saw them sitting on top of the now, "Refuse container", when I pulled it out to the curb.

How do I know the cans were the reason for the garbage men not taking my trash? 

And to make it even better they were nice enough to remind me HOW to recycle. 

(huff... deep breath ShankRabbit... relax)

This pissed me off. I was cussing up a storm to Isabella on IM and throwing down words that could make a Canadian hockey player blush. 

WHY? WHY????

BECAUSE THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF RECYCLING IS TO BE FRIENDLY TO THE ENVIRONMENT AND I GET THAT, BUT BECAUSE SOME ASSFACE IN OUR COUNTY'S GOVERNMENT WANTED TO MAKE SURE WE WERE NICE AND REGULATED, THEY CAME UP WITH THIS!!

... sorry for yelling. 

But seriously, think about it. Recycling is good for our planet. However, I think that the time and resources which were spent printing this little "instruction sheet" and this little sticker telling me what a bad human I am, hurt the environment MORE then what two little aluminum cans in a landfill ever could have done. 

It wasn't the garbage men who put this sign up either. Isabella was home when they picked up the trash. 

So lets take a trip down today's events as I can assume they happened:

1. 9:45am: Garbage men A, B, and C come rolling down our street.
2. 9:46am: Garbage man B hops off the back of the truck and walks towards our garbage can.
3. 9:46am: Garbage man B grabs the two bags sitting on the ground.
4. 9:47am: Garbage man C notices a glimmer of shine coming from the "refuse container" and says to garbage man B, "Pardon me, gentle sir, I doth believeth that our kindly neighbor here is attempting to lay waste to our planet with his glimmering magical cans. Our Lord hath sayeth, 'Whoever shall lay waste with shiny objects shall be ignored.'".
5. 9:48am: Garbage men A, B, and C leave my "refuse container", still full, on my sidewalk and drive off.
6. 11:55am: Garbage men A, B, and C arrive in their truck at the city dump and give reportings to the director of sanitation that a foul beast has attempted to destroy all mankind with aluminum, however, they successfully thwarted my evil plans. 
7. 1:35pm: Sanitation director personally initials a public reprimand for the foul beast, warning that if said beast ever attempt such a dastardly ploy again, all sanitation services shall be severed.
8. 1:36pm: Sanitation director hops in his company car and drives to the foul beast's lair to deliver said reprimand.
9. 1:45pm: Upon realization that the foul beast is at the doctors for his foul spawn's 1 year checkup, the Sanitation director leaves the note at the BACK DOOR.
10. 1:58pm: Sanitation director arrives back at his office with the smile of victory at another days work completed. 

Bastards.

You know what the kicker is? One of the bags that they did take was very translucent and VERY filled with cans. 

Ass. Holes.

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Guess what else? Niamonster took her first steps and I was home with video camera in hand. Woot!

Enjoy.

Wacky Wednesday 9 - CONTEST WINNER!

First off all let's get to the contest.

Here was how the random winner was picked (and all approved and over watched by Isabella)

1. All entries were placed in a spreadsheet. Number of total entries were calculated by user and then they were all given a span of numbers for the number entries.
   
2. 


3. Then I went to the wonderful Random.org and had them generate a number between 1 and 81. AND BEHOLD WE HAVE A WINNER!
   

!!! BUSY-DAD-E !!!

(clap clap clap clap)

I'll be contact you soon with a bazillion questions.

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Niamonster pooped on Isabella's hand today. I treated her like she had the plague for the next 30 minutes and didn't want her touching me. 

Poop really has lost its disgusting factor since Niamonster has been born though. Really, any bodily function (or dysfunction) has little to no effect on me anymore. Vomit used to... pooping used to... 

Now it's just "meh, whatever"

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And now some links to far off places because they're funny and I'm really not right now. (I know... Wacky Wednesday and I'm not wacky.)

This link is a collection of IMs, Emails, and postcards from mothers. It's funny because as you read them it is SO easy to see how all mothers are alike.

http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/highest-rated/

And finally a tribute to the greatest 4$ your mom ever spent on you.

http://www.laserportraits.net/

Have Friends. Get Music. - Wacky Wednesday 8

Welcome New Friends!

What is this Have Friends. Get Music. contest, you ask? Read about it here.

First off, the standings since 8:34pm 4/7

Name	Comment Entries	Friend Entries	Total
Andrew's Daddies	1	0	1
Apok	1	0	1
Call Me Cate	1	0	1
Ciara	1	0	1
Jim and Garret	1	0	1
Joanie M	2	0	2
Liz	2	6	8
Mary Ellen	1	0	1
Nbauer	1	0	1
Otter Thomas	2	0	2

I think it's pretty clear who really wants to win this.

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On to the meat and potato salad!

Holy Rollers

My wife and I are the religious type of folk, but we're not the kind who vomit our beliefs on you. No one likes to be puked on, so why is it so many people are brainwashed to think that vomiting God all over people is the best way to win them over?

But that's for a different time. The reason I mention this is so that this story doesn't make you go "mwah?"

Isabella and I read devotion every night. If we are too lazy to get to that (did I just hear a collective *gasp* from the holy rollers?), we at least pray. However, we've noted that reading devotion at night together is a lot like sitting in church. 

It's stupid easy to get the giggles.

Oh, you've been there. Maybe not the church part, but the "you're supposed to be somber and behaved" part. There is something about the "behave" aura that makes you so susceptible to laughing and not being able to stop. 

Last night Isabella was getting all up in my grill to start reading devotion. "Read! Read! Now now now nwo nwo nwo nwo wnow nwo nwo wnow". But I couldn't. I can't start until she says 3 words that are tradition before any devotioning can be had. 

"Devotion. The End."

Yes. At the beginning. 

So she was bustin' my balls (wait a minute... didn't he just say he was religious? and he just said "balls"?) and I finally just blurted, "Cripes woman! Are you that antsy to get devotion started? Are you that big of a holy roller now?

She proceeded to start rolling and almost flipped herself off the bed. 

Holy. Roller. (ba-da-dump)

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Snot Rocket

I was sort of mean the other night. Isabella has this thing were she can't go to bed without first checking on Niamonster, tucking in her blanket, making sure her binky that has mysteriously found itself under her left leg is easy accessible again. The only problem is that I like to do this too. 

It was about 11:30pm, we had finished brushing our teeth and Isabella has already run off to our bedroom. Our bedroom is connected to Niamonsters bedroom via a Jack-and-Jill style bathroom. So I, being the last one in the bathroom, went to go check on Niamonster. 

As I was walking back towards our room, Isabella starts walking in... I whisper, "What are you doing?". She responds, "I'm checking on her" and I retort, "I already did".

But she proceeded to try and push past me. 

I have this thing. I'm not home as much but I still want my actions with Niamonster to be "good enough". Like if I feed her, I want my style of feeding her to be good enough. If I tuck her in right before I go to bed, I want that to be good enough. Having Isabella copy me or re-do what I did makes me feel "not good enough". (such complex logic here)

So she crosses my path... I quickly turn around and give her a little shove and run in the other direction giggling. 

I hear "thud thud" as her feet catch her balance... and a few moments later a "snnnnerk" and then she starts giggling. She runs back into our room and we're both laughing our tails off. But alas, she fired off the nasal rocket of laughter and that was enough to wake up Niamonster. 

She didn't go back down for another 30 minutes, but it was SO worth it. 

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What places do you find yourself struggling to stifle the giggles?

Wacky Wednesday 6 - Self Tanning

Normally I'm pretty skitzo when it comes to posting on Wednesday. But today, readers, I will astound and amaze you with...

A Consistent Topic

(*gasp*)

Today's story revolves around my daughter and her delightful experimentation with self tanning solution. You know, the summer months are just around the corner and it's really tough for a girl these days to have to be in public with that beautiful winter sheen (and by "sheen" I mean blindingly pale). So who am I to judge a girl who wants to have a nice bronze tone for the first days of spring?

Oh. 

That's right. I'm her dad. Oh yeah... and my daughter is 11 months old. 

Obviously I'm not about to let my 11 month old have actual bronzing solution, so like her father, she went and improvised. I'm not going to lie - I'm proud as heck. I would have chosen something a little less chunky, but hey - for an 11 month old... not too bad. 

BEHOLD!

Makeshift tanning solution!

For those of you who know Gerber's Vegetable beef, you know this crap stains... and stains good! Clothes, baby skin, adult skin, the cat, the dog, the floor... you name it. Instant orange is the destiny of all things who befall this solution of so called "edible" paste.

She was very sneaky about application. This consisted of strategically placed games of "peek-a-boo" in which the "boo" would come at the precise moment my spoon was travelling on its merry way to her mouth. This resulted in her hands smacking into the spoon which allowed her to prepare herself for the next "peek" stage. The "peek" stage was always precision timed for when I was reloading the aforementioned spoon, thus, applying the wonderful bronzing solution to her delicate skin. 

As you can see below, she made sure to repeat this process several times for maximum and even coverage.

After the first application. Still needs a little more rubbing to smooth out the texture.

It takes a minute to realize that is NOT her natural skin tone. If you look right by her eyes you'll see her natural tone is far more pink.

Look at the glow! That shine! She's alive with energy and clearly is visiting this silly state from such awesome, sunshiney states like California or Florida. She's cool, she's hip, her dad let's her do whatever she wants!

As much as I love my daughter's independence and her wonderful ability to make adult decisions on her own, this clearly was not going to fly the rest of the night. You see... there is this lady that lives with us who doesn't understand what it's like to be pale. Her heritage keeps her skin tone at a nice "sand" in the winter, and a dark bronze in the summer. I guess that's what happens when African American heritage smashes together with Native American and Sicilian. (and about 14 other ethnicities). 

Well, because this lady, who I guess we can just call "Isabella" for now, doesn't empathize with us whitey-whites, she decided that the bronze was coming off. 

You can imagine Niamonster's face when she realized that she might lose her natural looking tan. Oh... wait... you don't have to imagine - I took a picture of it!

"Oh crap oh crap of crap"!

All that hard work. All those hours of planning and preparation. Learning "peek-a-boo", practicing fine motor skills, growing hair... all these things led up to this wonderful day and now this heartless wench called "mom" is going to ruin it all. 

This could only be fought one way. 

Screaming.

If she was any older I'm pretty sure there would have been of Isabella's blood in these pictures.

Angry Baby, is clearly angry. Someday when she's older she'll use this against us. (or maybe I'll use it against her... and show her BOYFRIEND!)

DO YOU SEE THE PAIN!? I'M WHITE AGAIN! I'M PALE WISCONSIN WHITE!

Oh. The fun.

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So I thought the fun for the night was over... clearly I was wrong. 

Niamonster has her favorite stuffed toy which was given to her as a gift by her grandmother who adores her more then anyone could ever imagine. This stuffed toy's name is Eebee. Perhaps you've heard of him... her... it... whatever. It's a "baby-like" toy that has it's own DVDs and acts like a baby and learns and plays all in the name of education.

Well if there was ever any doubt that Niamonster is my blood... it is 100% gone. This kid is the pure spawn of me and I realized this as Isabella was finishing up Niamonster's bath. 

I looked down into her crib and... what the... are his... 

Oh. Yeah. They are.

11 months old and already pulling down boys pants. Jesus.

Looks like I'll be attempting to have the "birds and bees" talk with her tomorrow. 

I thought I would have had more time.

Wacky Wednesday

A little known fact about me: I have celiac disease. And not that "internet diagnosed" crap either. The real, medically diagnosed disease by people who know what it is and how to diagnose it. (Can you tell I'm sick of people who diagnose themselves because WebMD and Wikipedia told them so?)

So my wife and I were having a discussion about how the Catholic faith says that for the "host" to be considered Jesus, it has to have gluten in it (apparently Jesus needed a binding agent to keep him together, go figure...).

I started cracking jokes about how Jesus was actually a real bitch about his dinner and forced everyone to eat it, even if they had a gluten intolerance. "Simon Peter, did you just spit me out?! Put me back in your mouth this instant! Take and eat now!"

She looks at me and says, "Well that would certainly offer a compelling explanation for why Judas betrayed him."

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So have you ever had a gift exchange where you ended up getting a gift that was worth way more then the gift you got that person?

It's such an embarrassing feeling, like you've completely cheated your way into having a much cooler present.

Take that feeling times a billion and you wonder if our new chief of state was feeling that as he handed off the plastic helicopters to our greatest ally as his daughters were getting fitted for their new hand sewn dresses. "Oh, and I know you're not into cinema that much, but here are 25 DVDs that you'll never watch."

Whoopsydoo!

Poor Prime Minister Brown, we just keep giving him crappy gift after crappy gift.

What I find funny is that this was barely, if at all mentioned in US news. Looks like our friends over in England thought this gaff was plenty newsworthy

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Finally, I leave you with Episode One of Niamonster plotting to kill her mother.

Wacky Wednesday

Multiple people have made fun of me for the number of blogs I currently maintain. Jokes usually fall in between the "you need more friends" to "you are a nerd", and even to the point of, "you're not allowed to make any more posts until you hang out with normal people". What makes this rich is that 60% of those people have since then started their own personal blogs. 

Talk about the pot calling the kettle chartreuse.

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My wife is sitting next to me in bed right now. She just leaned to the side, dropped a big stinky fart with a giant shit eating grin and said, "Look hunny, I'm contributing to your post."

Yes, dear. Yes you are.

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You ever stay at work so long that you start to get silly beyond belief? Working in the wonderful world of web application development, you can't just deploy your application at anytime you want. You have to do it when the least amount of people are hitting the site. This is so that just in case you muck something up, the fewest number of people are effected. 

Monday was a big deployment day. The day started as any other, with polite office style conversations and happy thoughts. By the end of the night we were singing 80's music, playing guitar hero like idiots, and laughing about the stupidest stuff. 

Deployment -> success.

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Niamonster figured out she can crawl side ways today. She put her spoon on the middle of the floor tonight and was circling around it repetitively like she was tied to a pole by a string. I'm surprised she didn't make herself hurl. 

That would have been awesome to cleanup. 

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Finally, I like to buy random things on ebay here and there. Mostly computer parts that allow me to stay close enough to the "latest" tech crap without destroying my bank account. Usually items I receive from auctions are in a box or some other sort of obvious packaging. 

Yesterday I received a package that was completely wrapped in Sunday's coupons and clear packing tape. 

It was the awesomest package ever.

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(Sub-finally. I just laughed that Blogspot tried to spell correct "awesomest" with "Awesome St." Someday I want to live there or at least drive on it.)

Wacky Wednesday

I think I've nailed down what I want each day to represent in this blog. 

Monday is the serious, hunker down, be a good dad and post something useful day.

Wednesday will be "Wacky Wednesday". A day where I post stupid shit to make you laugh. (obviously on topic with Monkeys and Daddies) (oh, and it will probably be very "ADD" as well)

Friday, as already specified, will be Fatherhood Fridays (ah-thank you dad-blogs)

So today is Wednesday... get ready for the Whacking.... er Whacky.

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You know you've married the right person when you wake up and hear her humming the

theme song from the A-Team (dun duh duh duuun dun dun dunnnn). When asked just how she possibly got that song in her head she proceeded to tell me about a dream she had where she was in the Navy and they had pulled into port which was a prop house (like on a movie set) so the walls were fake and that the Cajun Chef was there and that evolved into her thinking about Chef's with catch phrases which led to thinking of Emeril (whom she hates), and then in a general thought about people past their prime who should stop doing what they are doing cause they are starting to suck at it (cough cough Madonna). To which she started thinking about Mr. T and how he actually left prime but came back - to which the A-Team song popped in her head. 

Yup. That's my wife. 

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Niamonster has taken akin to using her little nails as her personal Ninjatō (look it up), which she likes to flail around and slash people with. So far she has two victims, Isabella and myself. Isabella had her face sliced open (complete with blood) and I had my neck slit open. 

Pretty awesome.

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Finally, I leave you with this.