Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Wacky Wednesday 10

I'm all out of sorts today. Niamonster has been fighting a little cough and some snotties and a little fever, and just as she starts going on the upswing... you guessed it... daddy starts going on the down swing. 

Awesome. Not like I have to go to work or anything.

But who cares about illness - let's get wacky anyway.



My wonderful wife IMs me today at work with "The garbage men didn't take our garbage." On a normal Tuesday I think I'd normally be ok with it, but this was a Tuesday after hosting a decent sized party. That meant we had more garbage then your average bear. 

As you can assume at a party that is hosted outdoors, people will throw their garbage items away in the nearest garbage receptacle. If they were in the garage, I had placed a garbage can in there. If they were outside on the deck, then our big honkin' garbage can was there. 

It's a garbage can, right?

OH OF COURSE NOT!

Not according to the completely screwed up Milwaukee county. That's not a garbage can... it's a refuse container that is suppose to contain refuse in bags. You know what else it is not supposed to contain? 

Cans. Two of them to be exact because I saw them sitting on top of the now, "Refuse container", when I pulled it out to the curb.

How do I know the cans were the reason for the garbage men not taking my trash? 

And to make it even better they were nice enough to remind me HOW to recycle. 

(huff... deep breath ShankRabbit... relax)

This pissed me off. I was cussing up a storm to Isabella on IM and throwing down words that could make a Canadian hockey player blush. 

WHY? WHY????

BECAUSE THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF RECYCLING IS TO BE FRIENDLY TO THE ENVIRONMENT AND I GET THAT, BUT BECAUSE SOME ASSFACE IN OUR COUNTY'S GOVERNMENT WANTED TO MAKE SURE WE WERE NICE AND REGULATED, THEY CAME UP WITH THIS!!

... sorry for yelling. 

But seriously, think about it. Recycling is good for our planet. However, I think that the time and resources which were spent printing this little "instruction sheet" and this little sticker telling me what a bad human I am, hurt the environment MORE then what two little aluminum cans in a landfill ever could have done. 

It wasn't the garbage men who put this sign up either. Isabella was home when they picked up the trash. 

So lets take a trip down today's events as I can assume they happened:
  1. 9:45am: Garbage men A, B, and C come rolling down our street.
  2. 9:46am: Garbage man B hops off the back of the truck and walks towards our garbage can.
  3. 9:46am: Garbage man B grabs the two bags sitting on the ground.
  4. 9:47am: Garbage man C notices a glimmer of shine coming from the "refuse container" and says to garbage man B, "Pardon me, gentle sir, I doth believeth that our kindly neighbor here is attempting to lay waste to our planet with his glimmering magical cans. Our Lord hath sayeth, 'Whoever shall lay waste with shiny objects shall be ignored.'".
  5. 9:48am: Garbage men A, B, and C leave my "refuse container", still full, on my sidewalk and drive off.
  6. 11:55am: Garbage men A, B, and C arrive in their truck at the city dump and give reportings to the director of sanitation that a foul beast has attempted to destroy all mankind with aluminum, however, they successfully thwarted my evil plans. 
  7. 1:35pm: Sanitation director personally initials a public reprimand for the foul beast, warning that if said beast ever attempt such a dastardly ploy again, all sanitation services shall be severed.
  8. 1:36pm: Sanitation director hops in his company car and drives to the foul beast's lair to deliver said reprimand.
  9. 1:45pm: Upon realization that the foul beast is at the doctors for his foul spawn's 1 year checkup, the Sanitation director leaves the note at the BACK DOOR.
  10. 1:58pm: Sanitation director arrives back at his office with the smile of victory at another days work completed. 
Bastards.

You know what the kicker is? One of the bags that they did take was very translucent and VERY filled with cans. 

Ass. Holes.



Guess what else? Niamonster took her first steps and I was home with video camera in hand. Woot!

Enjoy.


video

4 comments:

Liz said...

The absolute silence in the video- it's like you guys were holding your breath with each step! YAY Niamonster!!

The trash thing is INFURIATING! Wow!! Makes me appreciate our lazy system. Our guys don't give a damn what's in your can. They don't even have to get out of the truck. Stop the truck next to the can(s) that are company provided... push a button so a giant mechanical arm comes out and grabs both cans at once, lifts them into the air, and dumps the contents, violently, into the trash truck. Arm lowers the cans back to the ground and usually leaves them standing upright, too!

Makes me feel a lot less guilty about never tipping or holiday gifting our trashman. He doesn't DO anything!!

Andy said...

Last year we got the threat of a $500 fine for having dust in our trash can - and that our house had been "recorded in the system."

Jim and Garret said...

That's why I like RVing. I can throw bodies into the huge dumpsters and not worry about what the guy/gal was wearing and if it was recyclable or not.

Garret

Otter Thomas said...

It's no wonder that people hate government at all levels. I would have lost my mind if that happened to me.