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Happy Fatherhood Friday! Welcome to all the dads who know they're awesome and blog about it and hang out over at dad-blogs.com - check them out they're all a really great bunch of people.
The Battle of the Parents
This has been an on going battle for generations and I am proud to say that our family is gladly carrying on the tradition. I'm talking about the war that wages between the mom and dad to constantly want the child the choose you over the other. The battles that happen where mom and dad are sitting on opposite ends of the room, both cooing and coaxing trying to win out as the "best" parent by having the child crawl over to them first.
Maybe it's just with first time parents. Obviously I can't speak from any other experience as I only have one little rascal crawling around, but I think it's safe to say that it happens even with more the one child.
Oh... Shank... We don't do that.
Pfft. Don't lie to me. Never? Who doesn't love to be number one? Obviously when it comes down to the real love and feelings the winning doesn't matter... but I'm not talking about the deep down rooted love, I'm talking about the surface stuff right now.
And on the surface it RULES to be number 1!
Warzone #1: Church
The war wages fierce while sitting in the pews of church. Trying our silent and stealthy attacks against one another to get Niamonster to reach out for the other parent. Victory is audibly silent but pridefully loud as it is custom for one parent to shoot a blazing sneer of triumph at the other parent.
Warzone #2: The Grandparents House
While the gaze of grandparents is upon us, we keep our smiley, lovey, game faces in their perma-grins. But around the corners and in the guest bedrooms it's a cacophony of destruction as Isabella and I blast Niamonster with affection and love so as to be the lucky one who gets her affection when the grandparents are back in view.
Warzone #3: Amongst Friends
Since we were the first couple out of all of our friends to have a child, this warzone can oftentimes be the deadliest. Without the silence of church and the necessity of being behaved around the grandparents, a friends house can often lead to vile and sarcastic remarks, forceful espionage, and covert operations to sometimes avoid "gaining affection" to simply all out "stealing" it.
I'm thinking of invading her home base.
I literally mean home. With Isabella being a stay-at-home mom, she has conquered the home and turned it into a dictatorship. I'm setting forth a plan to usurp her vile authority and bring peace and democracy to this fine country... er... home. Then, through hidden agendas, secret organizations, and lobbyists I will gain ultimate control and bring in wiretaps, 24 hour surveillance, and "home"land security - but mask it all as necessary to prevent a "home"land invasion of pure and vile motherhood. If all fathers unite, we will prevail as the ONLY source of comfort and love for all of our children.
I'm going in. Who's going to join me?
Where are your bloodiest warzones?