Friday, April 10, 2009

Fatherhood Friday 8 - WAR!


Welcome New Friends!
What is this Have Friends. Get Music. contest, you ask? Read about it here.



Contest Update
Name Comment Entries Friend Entries Total
Alix 1 0 1
Andrew's Daddies 1 0 1
Apok 1 0 1
Bella daddy 1 0 1
Busy-Dad-E 1 0 1
c3 1 0 1
Call Me Cate 3 0 3
Ciara 3 0 3
Jeff 2 0 2
Jim and Garret 3 0 3
Joanie M 2 0 2
Leticia 1 0 1
Liz 4 14 18
Mary Ellen 2 0 2
Nbauer 1 0 1
Otter Thomas 4 0 4




Happy Fatherhood Friday! Welcome to all the dads who know they're awesome and blog about it and hang out over at dad-blogs.com - check them out they're all a really great bunch of people. 

The Battle of the Parents

This has been an on going battle for generations and I am proud to say that our family is gladly carrying on the tradition. I'm talking about the war that wages between the mom and dad to constantly want the child the choose you over the other. The battles that happen where mom and dad are sitting on opposite ends of the room, both cooing and coaxing trying to win out as the "best" parent by having the child crawl over to them first. 

Maybe it's just with first time parents. Obviously I can't speak from any other experience as I only have one little rascal crawling around, but I think it's safe to say that it happens even with more the one child. 

Oh... Shank... We don't do that. 

Pfft. Don't lie to me. Never? Who doesn't love to be number one? Obviously when it comes down to the real love and feelings the winning doesn't matter... but I'm not talking about the deep down rooted love, I'm talking about the surface stuff right now. 

And on the surface it RULES to be number 1!

The Battlegrounds.

Warzone #1: Church
The war wages fierce while sitting in the pews of church. Trying our silent and stealthy attacks against one another to get Niamonster to reach out for the other parent. Victory is audibly silent but pridefully loud as it is custom for one parent to shoot a blazing sneer of triumph at the other parent.

Warzone #2: The Grandparents House
While the gaze of grandparents is upon us, we keep our smiley, lovey, game faces in their perma-grins. But around the corners and in the guest bedrooms it's a cacophony of destruction as Isabella and I blast Niamonster with affection and love so as to be the lucky one who gets her affection when the grandparents are back in view. 

Warzone #3: Amongst Friends
Since we were the first couple out of all of our friends to have a child, this warzone can oftentimes be the deadliest. Without the silence of church and the necessity of being behaved around the grandparents, a friends house can often lead to vile and sarcastic remarks, forceful espionage, and covert operations to sometimes avoid "gaining affection" to simply all out "stealing" it.

I'm thinking of invading her home base.

I literally mean home. With Isabella being a stay-at-home mom, she has conquered the home and turned it into a dictatorship. I'm setting forth a plan to usurp her vile authority and bring peace and democracy to this fine country... er... home. Then, through hidden agendas, secret organizations, and lobbyists I will gain ultimate control and bring in wiretaps, 24 hour surveillance, and "home"land security - but mask it all as necessary to prevent a "home"land invasion of pure and vile motherhood. If all fathers unite, we will prevail as the ONLY source of comfort and love for all of our children.

I'm going in. Who's going to join me?



Where are your bloodiest warzones?


25 comments:

Jim and Garret said...

Ummmmm, is this thing on? I'd like to uh vote for Liz.

Warzones? I come in peace.

Garret

Rob said...

My wife is a stay at home mom so my kids love her more. LOL. So no war in my house. Happy FF! Check out my FF Friday post at: http://www.pbandsmellysdad.com/2009/04/what-not-to-say.html

Jason said...

As a SAHD I've gotta warn ya. When Niamonster get's a bit older you're gonna see a major turn to Isabella's favor. Everytime the little one gets hurt or feels needy it's Daaadda in our house. He runs to the missus every night when she gets home from work though(and then promptly asks to be put in his seat, because, let's face it, she's the dinner bell). Just a warning as to what you have to look forward to :)

Daddy Files said...

Let me know which of your tactics are successful. I'm in the middle of some recon now because my wife has been away with my son for a week. Without me around for 7 days, he's become desperately attached to her. It's pissing me off and I need to take back control, except I'm at work and she's home with him.

I'll pass on any useful intel if you do the same.

Over and out.

DaddyKV said...

Sometimes I think you have issues Shank. Funny Post.

Lets roll....

Andy said...

"Then, through hidden agendas, secret organizations, and lobbyists I will gain ultimate control..."

Operation Mac Truck in full effect...

PJ Mullen said...

I lost that battle a long time ago. Even though I'm the one at home with him, Mommy has had the edge. Being the nice lady with the nummies trumps anything my self has to offer.

Joel said...

I gotta tell you, that whole "stay at home mom" thing can backfire on them. Our son is fifteen months old and going through an independent phase. So all day long he's at home warring with mom over every minute detail of his day.

Then I swoop in after work and reap the benefits since "Daddy's nicer than mom." Hehehe.

Bella Daddy said...

YIKES! Being a stay at home Dad, I am gonna have to ask for an Honorary Discharge, please!

Otter Thomas said...

Good luck with your battle. With my wife staying at home I don't think I can beat her. I try to offer something different. That way Braden likes to play with me but wants mommy for soothing. I figure we both have something different to offer so I don't try to beat her on her own turf.

Call Me Cate said...

TEAM ISABELLA!!! (But please do give me another entry in the contest anyways)

I have no kids so I have no warzones. Unless you mean my cats and which lap they choose when we're watching tv. Or whose shoes they pee in. Kidding - my cats have never peed in shoes.

KWG said...

Those control/anger management classes not paying off, huh? Well, you need guerilla warfare, my friend. Secret playdates and frilly gifts and my pretty ponies and Webkinz password protected sites.

These are your weapons of silent warfare to use against the stay-at-home mom. My wife has recently joined the ranks...

Oh, hi sweetie. Nothing. No, I'm not talking daddy smack. No, ma'am. Love you...

ciara said...

isabella looks like she'd totally kick your a$$ in that pic. lol

there are going to be different things that the niamonster will come to you guys with in life and you will see that you both win. even if she's a sahm, the quality of time that you give the niamonster, will be what she remembers about you most growing up. my dad was gone a lot as he was in the navy, we were close to my mom because that's all we had for several months at a time. but in the end, i always remember my dad doing for us because he never got that growing up though i know my adoptive grandparents love and that he was there for me when i really needed him (remember the story of when i got pregnant in my late teens?)

Apok said...

Our warzone (or maybe it's where the results are tallied) is when we go out to eat, and we see who's side of the table she wants to sit on. I color with her!

Jim and Garret said...

Ummm by the way, is your daughter's real name Niamonster? OR is that a nickname? Looking through the blog that's the only name I see aside from your wife's.

Garret

ShankRabbit said...

@Jim and Garret

ShankRabbit, Isabella, and Niamonster are all not our real names, only our online identities.

Jim and Garret said...

A sigh of relief. I guess the Witness Protection Program is trying to be unique.

Garret

Busy-Dad-E said...

At least you were kind enough to give your Isabella the better looking gun. :)

Liz said...

Glad I came back to check... I posted a comment earlier and now I don't see it??

I gave bonus points to Garret for being right in here, first thing.

And I said that the funny thing about having a second child is that the war changes. Instead of vying for our only child's attention, we fight to make the other person do the tasks- changing poopy diapers, bathtime, pj's on, dinner wrangling. All the things we used to think were special and fun, you know...

ShankRabbit said...

@Daddy Files
I hate the times where I'm gone for longer periods of time and Niamonster is all about Isabella and hates me. Grrr. Good luck on the recon.

@DaddyKV
Me? Messed in the head? Not me. :)

@KWG
You're not supposed to let her see what you're writing. LoL.

WeaselMomma said...

OK, you are too funny. We used to do that. Now that the kids are older (and there are so damn many of them) we actually fight to be #2. "Don't you want to go cuddle with Daddy?" Go sing Dad your new song" and "I bet Dad has belly button lint you could pick". Anything for a few minutes to myself.

Joanie M said...

Ok, my very good wonderful friend, Liz from Eternal Lizdom would be oh so very happy if you chose her because she really needs this song!
I had no idea I was being sneaky!!! I only realized I hadn't voted the day before and went back and voted for Liz! sorry! I'll be good!

Nancy said...

I just have to drop Liz's name. She is begging for a song!

And at my house, mom usually wins, even when I would rather not!

Andrew's Daddies said...

I am Andrew's favorite during play time. My partner is the favorite during bed time, but I'm so slowly trying to invade that space..

Jeff said...

Yeah, with a second it does seem like being number 2 is ok. Wow a number 2 reference 2 days in a row. Maybe I have issues. But seriously, it seem like being able to sit back and not be the center of attention is ok at times. Trying to be number one for 2 would drive me insane.

Oh, and a vote for Liz.