Monday, April 27, 2009

Meaningful Monday - Sick Again

Um... Hi. 

((shuffling feet on the ground))

How are you guys... I. uh. you know... 

didn't post on Friday. so... I'm sorry.

Hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. Promise I won't let it happen often, it's just that I was really sick last week and there was a lot of stuff on my mind and I think it all just met up with me all at once. 

Stretched Thin

I'm gonna lay down some of my beliefs for a second. I believe there is a God. I also believe that this God is benevolent as well as my home-boy. I do believe that God is not a dick. Given these statements of belief I know that "my God" would never give me more then I can handle. 

The funny thing is that what I can handle isn't much. What I can handle with him as my "dude" is everything. ("I can do all things through him who gives me strength" layin' down some phatty Philippians 4:13 for you Bible readers out there.)

Lately I've been sucking at looking to him (or her I guess... personifying God usually leads to a "male" reference, so technically he has no gender... but calling God "it" just seems odd) for strength. I've been looking inwardly and trying to juggle a lot of issues going on in life. 

Finances, being a good dad, being a good husband, not knowing what's going on with my wife, having a new team lead at work, keeping friends happy, throwing parties, worrying about job security, etc. 

There are more but those are the big ones and I let them rule me instead of just relaxing a bit, taking a step back, and realizing that I can't control everything. 

It's funny. I'm a control freak who tries to control everything in his life, when deep down, I know I don't want to control everything.

So it builds up until...

I get sick. My body forces me to shut down and ignore everything in the world except the necessities. It usually revolves around some crappy chest congestion that doesn't leave my lungs... ever. 

And that's what happened last week. And why I didn't post Friday, because I needed to just ignore some things in my life and, not that I don't value you, dear reader... because I really do, but this blog was the first thing to get the axe when it came to things to do on Friday. (well... Thursday night)

But I'm back.

I've had the time to reset, reboot, reload a fresh kernel and clean out my processes, open up a few threads, and start a little bit new. 

Funny afterthought.

I did pecker off my wife on Thursday. Since Wednesday I hadn't really been running any sort of temperature, just crappy feeling and lots of coughing and no sleeping, At 6:30pm on Thursday my temperature spiked to 102.9F out of no where.  By 7:30pm I was down to 100.5F and by 8pm i was at 99.4F

At the 8pm check she gave me evil glarey eyes. 
I looked at her and said, "What. Clearly my immune system found the virus and had to kill it."
With disdain in her voice she said, "I hate you and your freaking immune system."

Have a good week everyone!


Liz said...

I am sorry you are going through this but it sounds like you are figuring things out and on the mend.

Good to hear some of your thoughts on God and I see now part of why I like you and isabella so much. Our thinking is pretty similar.

I've been asking this question of everyone lately... Have you read "The Shack?" If not, do. If so- what'd you think?

I've been working hard to turn my problems over, leave them at the foot of the cross. My recent struggle was with parenting and the thing that really got me back to reconnected was that I want to parent the God does. With love and concern and caring. I can't stop bad things from happening to my kids, I can't stop them from making bad choices or choices I don't agree with. But I can always choose to respond with love and compassion. I can make certain that my family knows that I choose to love them consistently and constantly, no matter where they are or what they are choosing to do. Because that is how God loves me and it is my gift to make my attempts at loving the same way.

Bella Daddy said...

Forgiven, glad u r feeling, MAN UP! LOL

Liz said...

And this sentence...

"I do believe that God is not a dick."

Is one of my favorite lines EVER.